Somebody has to say it...

I'm not one to keep quiet. Ever. My mama taught me at a very young age to voice my opinion. You can blame her. I have, however, become a bit more tactful and graceful in my approach...most of the time.

-Dear Bradley Cooper, you broke our hearts in Valentine's Day. It was not funny nor appreciated. Don't do it again. Sincerely, straight women all over the world.

-If you are a grown adult, you should not be allowed to wear silly bands UNLESS, a small child gave you one. If you bought silly bands for yourself, you should promptly return to grade school. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Do, however, try to collect your dignity and self respect on the way.

-To the jerk off tailgating me down I-85: if you're going to ride my ass, atleast scream my name.

-Why do people automatically assume, if something's missing, that it was the cleaning lady? Listen, they don't want your crap. After cleaning up your filth all day, the last thing they want to do is take something to remind them of you later.

-While it may not be socially acceptable, I will high-five you for smacking the shit out of your 18+ year old son/daughter when he/she disrespects you in public. Please and thank you.

-Speaking of socially acceptable, getting drunk and flirting/humping the twenty-somethings at the pool while your twelve year old child watches, is generally frowned upon. Just sayin'.