Modnar is Random

No, really, it is. As is this post.

I didn't really have anything in particular that I wanted to talk about. So, I've decided that I'm going to compile a modnar list of things that've been on my mind. Besides, I'm better with lists.

- Case in point: I created a word document (complete with headings and bullets- my mother would be proud) listing all of the coupons I had for the month of July. Not only do I need a coupon for Act mouthwash, I need a life. And a boyfriend. And to get laid. But, that's another post.

- I fear that my future children will not know what a pencil is. I fear that they will not know what a newspaper, a book, nor a cd/tape player looks like. I abhor technology in so many ways. It's impersonal and cold. At work, I will actually call people, and hold for five minutes, instead of sending an e-mail because I want a connection with them. BUT- if you even think about getting rid of my dual monitors, I will break your fingers and spit in your face. Capiche?

- I love people watching. I don't make up stories for the people like Tina Fey and Steve Carell did in Date Night. I do, however, enjoy the occasional giggle when I spot someone picking their nose, tripping over their own two feet, or spilling their venti, non-fat, vanilla latte all over themselves. It's truly the best entertainment.

- So, how about that oil spill? Seriously. It's bad. Like, really, really bad. However, it's not bad when you work in the environmental testing field. Well, it's still bad but, sad to say, it's good for business. And, I sound like a complete asshole.

- Chris, my ex, made fun of me because I loved making mixed cds. "Why don't you just get an iPod?" So, when I ask for a mixed cd for my 21st, guess what I got?! A shiny, new, blue iPod. It's whatever. He got marriage counseling, I got an iPod. I win.

- Isn't it horrible when you find out what someone looks like, or how old they really are, after only hearing their voice? Corporate is located in Minnesota. Most of the clients I speak with are not based in North Carolina. So, I only talk to them via phone (because, remember, I'd rather spend ten minutes getting a 'yes,' than to shoot a two second e-mail). Well, I recently learned that one of the girls that I consistently bug up at Corporate, isn't 25. She sounds 25 and, in my mind, looks 25. But, alas, she is not. She is in her 40s. Also, I listen to 107.9 The Link throughout the work day and learned, not too long ago, that Ramona is black. I'm all for being politically correct 'n shit but, she sounded white. It's okay. I can say that. My neighbor is black.

- My pants and shirts are beginning to get a little snug. And, by a little, I mean a lot. Fatgirl has gotten fatter. Bye, bye size 8s :( Hello stretch pants.

- You'd be surprised at how many people can't spell my last name. I mean, c'mon people. It's not that friggin' hard. On the upside, though, I have several great alias': Amanda Rhodes, Amanda Roads, and Amanda Rofe. Yup. That's me.

- The people next door are sketchy. Among the other things my landlord told me, I wish he would've mentioned their sketchy-ness. Seriously. She is probably poisoning his food as he mixes her nightly Corona with rohypnol. They're not the worst. The people two doors down? Have adopted a chicken. Mr. Chicken wandered up two days after we moved in. He disappeared. Then, the other day I saw one of the children trying to put a leash on him. I've never felt more sorry for a chicken. They also have a redneck slip-n-slide. If you are unfamiliar with this type of slip-n-slide, you are lucky. A redneck s-n-s consists of two blue tarps, some twine and duct tape, and the sprinkler watering the garden. Git-R-Done. Old man river isn't too bad. He mows the grass and lets us use his trash can if ours fills up. I am, however, waiting for him to say, "You got a purty mouth."